Karin of Cafe Bebe and now Mummy 365 fame, recently challenged us bloggers to come up with our own parenthood version of 50 Shades of Grey. I am currently reading the second book and although its not going to be a classic book, it is an enjoyable read that you can forget about the rest of your life from while you read. Here is my creative writing attempt entitled ‘The Dream’.
She is sleeping. A small murmur from the baby monitor awakens her. She puts the duvet back over her head and thinks “Oh no! Not this early please”. Things are quiet again from the baby monitor at the moment but of course she is now awake. She starts listing through everything she has to do today while her husband continues sleeping beside her.
“No.1: Get up,
No.2: give baby bottle of milk and breakfast,
No. 3: try a drink a coffee while it is still warm,
No.4: Empty and fill the dishwasher and put laundry in the washing machine,
No. 5: Attempt to get herself and baby dressed and get out of the house in reasonable amount of time,
No. 6: Get to supermarket. Battle to get a parent and child space and wake baby (who will be sleeping soundly) and put baby in trolley.
No. 7: Try and get shopping done without running over old ladies and without a screaming baby. Fail miserably at both.
No. 8: Go to cafe, feed baby it’s lunch, manage to eat half a sandwich and drink half a lukewarm coffee. Smile at people who give you the ‘pity stare’.
No. 10: Join the long queue for the single baby changing facilities.
No.11: Change baby
No.12: Leave supermarket
No.13: Visit Mother In Law (enough said!)
No. 14: Go home. Manage to get baby to sleep for 20 minutes.
No. 15: Put on Cbeebies to amuse baby and tackle the Mount Everest of an ironing pile
No. 16: Put supermarket pizza and oven chips in oven for dinner.
No. 17: Husband gets back from work and asks what you have been doing all day.
No. 18: Eat dinner. Baby chews on an oven chip.
No. 19: Bath baby while husband watches the football
No.20: Give baby bottle of milk and put them to bed.
No.21: Baby wakes up every 10 minutes for next 2 hours.
No.22: Finally collapse into bed zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”
She then looks at baby monitor. It is not on. She wonders “is it broken or not charged? I must go and check the baby now”. She then looks at the floor and sees a little black dress and her killer heels. She then remembers. It is a Sunday morning, the night after their 5th Wedding Anniversary. She got treated to a very expensive meal last night and even got to dance too. The baby is with her lovely Mother In Law and will be until 6pm tonight. She then snuggles up to her husband and goes back to sleep. It was all just a dream.
I am also submitting this for the BritMum’s Blogging Prompts of the week as a fantasy